I have spoken to thousands of families throughout my career as an interventionist. All of them have loved ones who suffer from substance use disorder, the clinical term for addiction. The stories that are shared are heartbreaking. There are too many to mention. My observation is one common thread amongst all the conversations, the statement “I don’t know what to do.” Initially, families do not know how to navigate this fatal disease. But to my amazement, given enough time, they become experts.
When I engage with a family, I explain the process of an intervention. I teach that the process is for them as much, if not more, than their loved one. The empowerment of the family system facilitates change. I have seen it, experienced it, and believe in it. The client will not accept help initially. An intervention is a process, not a one-time event. The bottom line is we don’t give up and let the process evolve until successful. It works!
The question that I am often asked is, “What is your success rate”? My response produces silence, “100%”. If the family system changes as a result of an intervention, then the process is successful. Families want a guarantee that this is going to work. My only guarantee is that their situation will not get better. Their loved one will have an intervention at some point in their life; it’s inevitable. If society intervenes, the outcome may not have been what they desired. Done professionally, we give them the option to get well.
They have called, a solution is provided. The family is grateful that help is available, and here is where the beginning of their Ph.D. in addiction begins. Let’s look at some of the mistakes often taught on their way to higher education.
Therapy
I am a big advocate of therapy, but not as a replacement for treatment. Therapy has it’s value on the back end of treatment upon discharge. Why would you take someone to see a therapist who is abusing substances? Let me finish off this bottle of vodka then see my therapist. How productive do you think that therapeutic session will be? Therapy should begin with a client who is safely medically detoxed in a therapeutic environment.
Intensive Outpatient – IOP
Intensive outpatient is a daycare for addicts and alcoholics. The majority of intervention clients will try to bargain for this less extreme level of care. They get to come home, sleep in their own bed, continue with their employment and see their family. All they must do is agree to attend sessions a couple of times a week for a period of time. This level of care accommodates many people but rarely works. Most clients do not finish the program, they are attending to get the heat off from their family. Some actually abuse substances while attending, easy access when you are able to go about your daily life.
Hitting Bottom
Hitting bottom is a very misunderstood statement. The bottom for an alcoholic or addict is the following; jails, institutions (mental institution) or death. Why would you wait until your son/daughter ends up in jail before doing anything? Intervention raises the bottom and meets the client right where they are. We make it uncomfortable enough for change to occur. We don’t want your loved one to hit bottom, neither should you.
Family Intervention
Just because you have viewed 1000 episodes of Intervention on the television does not make you an interventionist. There is more to intervention than writing a letter and reading it to your loved one. If that worked, there would not be a process of intervention accomplished by professionally trained interventionists. Would you try to conduct open-heart surgery on someone without medical training? Why would you attempt to intervene on someone without the guidance of a professional? It rarely works.
I Have A Friend
Many times families try to use a friend or family member who is in recovery to talk to their loved one. That is not an intervention; it’s a discussion. The substance abuser can’t wait until the conversation is over and will make promises to appease. There is no plan moving forward, and it rarely motivates change. Often this ruins the chance of a professional engagement by an interventionist.
In summary, you have contacted a professional and they have provided you with a solution. Take their suggestions and hire a professional to do the intervention. Don’t try to use these shortcuts because all they will do is lead to more pain and despair. You are trying to fix this yourself and you are not qualified. Put your pride aside and hire someone who is professionally trained to help your loved one. Get off the internet, stop asking people their opinion and take action.
